If I really, really think about it Australians love schnitzels more than Germans.

This is a modern truth and the bitter border war between South Australia and Victoria over whether the cheese and tomato topping is parmi or parma shows the fierce affection in which this dish is held. Of course every linguist would tell you the abbreviated form of parmigiana is parmi.

Like the best traditions this one evolved without planning or strategy. One night Chrisso rang to see if I’d like to dine Wednesday evening at the Purple Parrot on Brighton Road (long gone) and it went from there as we asked other largely Kapunda High alumni to join us. Over four years we went to the pub 159 times and more often than not, had schnitzel.

We kept a 96 page exercise book (courtesy of Marryatville High) and took turns recording the details of these Wednesday nights. Here’s five entries from the diary.

7/5/97 Kensington Hotel Attendance- Nick, Mickey and Chris

• a fantastic discovery. Somewhat secreted and little discussed but very good
• Stout Season officially launched. Nick and Chris worked their way through a solid thicket of black n tans
• impressive jukebox in the front bar- Dylan, Doors etc. No techno or dolphin-waxing shite
• C and N had such a lovely time that they were unable to recollect next week’s venue

4/6/97 Brompton Park Attendance- Chris, Nick, Paul, Greg and Mickey

• another gem
• “no colours, patches, parrots or pirates”
• good draught beer on tap
• substantial schnitzels and Puggy’s frail, 98-pound weakling physique evoked considerable sympathy from the cook and so she force-fed him two schnitzels
• local lads provided tunes via a jam session

27/5/98 Cumberland Arms, Waymouth Street Attendance- Stephen, Bobby, Nick, Mickey

• Dean Jones has retired
• Deano and cauliflower out; spinach and Potato Twins (chip + mash) in
• crusty bread- played rodeo clown role- skilled, dangerous and highly valued but largely misunderstood and unappreciated
• schnitzels were butchers’ gold- quite magnificent
• innkeeper and stove staff were hospitable and jovial folk
• Nick suggested a beer and video evening watching Slapshot

24/6/98 Producers Hotel Attendance- Bobby, Stephen, Nick, Mickey

• false start as only breakfast and heroin for sale
• moved to the Griffins Head
• don’t touch it- couldn’t get a proper black n tan because inept management didn’t know how to handle the electronic cash register
• 20 cents for tomato sauce
• food average so adjourned to the Crown and Anchor to talk about Uncle Greg

21/8/98 British Hotel, North Adelaide Attendance- Bobby, Nick, Chrisso, Mickey, Woodsy, Lukey, RP, Crackshot, Stephen, Abba, GS Chappell

• 100th pub visit
• then went to the Exeter and PJ O’Briens
• hint- pints of sparkling ale may be injurious to your health
• adjourned to Club Dimora (Nick’s townhouse) for nightcaps, poopsticks, spa maintenance and a coma
• called into the Austral at 11am for a quick beer (1 at 11, or 11 at 1)
• retired hurt